*Prepare for the most negative blog post you'll probably ever read from me*.
I started university just over a month ago now and I have a confession to make: I'm not enjoying it. You might say that I haven't given myself enough time yet to adjust to my new surroundings, however, I think you know deep down, when you just simply don't enjoy something.
For those of you who don't know, I'm currently in my first year studying psychology at the University of Reading. I've always enjoyed psychology. In fact, it was my favourite A-Level subject, so it only seemed natural that I would want to continue studying it at university. However, looking back on things, I think I decided a little bit too quickly about what course I wanted to do and never even explored my other options. Now don't get me wrong, I do still like psychology and I am interested in my course, but I'm just not passionate about it and this thought keeps nagging me at the back of my mind. When you're not passionate about what you're studying, it can often be difficult to motivate yourself to attend the lectures, do the work and simply care about your degree, which is currently what I'm struggling with.
I've been feeling really unhappy ever since I first started univeristy, and it's not something I believe I should be feeling at this stage. Let's not forgot that I'm paying £9000 a year for this degree in which I basically self teach myself without any support or guidance. I was just set a 1500 word essay after just one seminar which briefly covered the topic. To gather the rest of the information, I had to spend two days in the library, hunched over books I couldn't understand and looking online for the information. At university, you have to reference everything you find in your essays, but guess what, we weren't even taught how to reference correctly...I had to try and find out myself. Whilst I was writing that essay, I knew that it was going to be rubbish and that's just so frustrating for me since I'm one of those people who aim to try and achieve the best grade possible. You might argue and say that that's exactly what university is, but this is exactly the reason why I feel like university is not for me.
The other day when I was feeling particularly sad, one of my lecturers told us his whole life story: how he got a degree in psychology but there were no available jobs at the end of it, so he went on to get a masters in sport psychology and then was baffled when he still couldn't find any jobs. I just sat there looking at him like *why the hell am I here then? why the hell are you telling us this?* It was so eye opening to hear from someone only around 10 years older than us who really did struggle to get where he is today. I think it's partly my fault for choosing a degree that to actually become a psychologist or anything at all that's strongly related to psychology, I would have to do a masters and a PhD to become a Doctor (which I really don't want to do).
On Tuesday when I was feeling particularly unhappy, my friend Hannah got in touch with me and basically told me how she wasn't enjoying university either and described how she was feeling which I realised was exactly the same as me. We both haven't settled in well to university life, and haven't made any close friends at university which is so isolating. Hannah decided to drop out of university this week (I'm so proud and happy for her!) as she had had enough. You can read about her uni experience here.
Whilst reading this you might be feeling frustrated as to why I'm currently still at university if I hate it so much, so I'll clear some things up. Sure, dropping out has crossed my mind more times than I can count, but at the moment I'm attempting to see how I feel at Christmas (since I've paid up until then) and then decide what I want to do. I just want to make sure that this isn't a phase I'm going through, however, if I continue to feel like I'm feeling at the moment, then I won't hesitate to drop out. I've already been looking into other career options that don't involve university so I don't feel like I'm making the biggest mistake of my life as I know there's plenty of opportunities out there for me. I think a lot of people forget that not going to university isn't the end of the world and you can go to university at any time in your life, not just at 18.
At the moment, I feel like I'm going to university for the sake of going to univeristy and because it's the 'norm' which is not a nice feeling at all. I hope I've explained my somewhat irrational thoughts and that you can take something away from (as Hannah puts it) my not so great uni experience (so far). If you're currently deciding whether university is the right route for you, I would highly recommend looking into other options such as apprenticeships and jobs before it's too late, unlike me. But of course, nobody's experience at university will be completely the same, so please decide for yourselves what the right course of action is.
I plan to keep you updated on what I choose to do with my life (no pressure) so stay tuned for that :)
What's your university experience like? Do you enjoy it? Are any of you planning on going to university or are you thinking about another route?
Take care,
Sophie x
I knew half way through my first year that uni wasnt overly for me. I stuck it out for the 3 years and it did get better slightly but wasn't the experience I expected. I didn't bond with anyone and the only true friends I made were at my part time job (they are the only people from my uni life I keep in touch with!)
ReplyDeleteI stuck it out because I wanted my degree. I'm glad I did because having a degree (any degree really) opens up so many amazing doors but if I had to go through the uni experience again - I absolutely wouldn't.
I didn't learn much, I felt bullied by some people there, I didn't make friends at uni (only at work) and I spent a lot of time working, going home and teaching myself. My entire class would have agreed with me when I say that limited help was there and we spent most of our time in crap lectures.
If you truly believe it isn't for you then don't think you have to stay. Nowadays having a degree isn't the most important thing when it comes to a career so don't be concerned about that factor. Don't spend time being unhappy because I did that and it made me depressed.
Do what makes you happy my lovely. It's ok to want to "drop out", although I hate that phrase because it's not giving up its just finding a new and right path :)
Good luck !
I can completely relate! Although I decided to stick with my language course and get my degree and then branch out into my options. I'm in my 2nd year now so hopefully everything works out in the end and for you too!
ReplyDeleteRebekah xx
I can totally relate to this, like I think quite a few others can.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went to university (and I graduated a full two years ago now, which makes me feel ohsoold), it was very much a "you've finished sixth form, now the next route of education is university". You just went, all my friends did, without even thinking - it was still £3,000 a year back then, so money wasn't as much of a burden as it is now. Looking back, I think I rushed into a degree, not really thinking about how it would impact my whole life, my career prospects, friendships; overall happiness.
I look back on university fondly - I met some of my closest friends in the world, I experienced things I thought were impossible, and I acheived the grade I wanted to. I think you're totally right and sensible in sitting it out until Christmas to regroup then, because it isn't for everyone - and nowadays, elusive experience counts more than a degree and a scroll of paper could.
Keep us updated on what you choose to do - you've got a new follower, by the way. :) x
Lucy Amelia | flawedfairytale
I'm very lucky in the fact that the course i'm doing is something I love and i'm passionate about. My friends who went through a similar situation of you always envied me and how much I love what I do. I feel like I inspired them though, as even though they stuck out the hard yards and completed their first year, they then changed to a course/job better suited to them and they are so much happier now!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, you will find what you are passionate about. Uni shouldn't be too hard if you love what you're doing xxx
Talia // Floral Anchors
2 years ago I started college (we have 2 different things here in Belgium, uni and college, uni is what it is everywhere and college is somewhat more in smaller classes and actually in my opinion just like high school). So 2 years ago I started with college and after a month/2 months I was so unhappy I dropped out as well. Here it is so easy to just step into some other course, but I was afraid to step into a class that was already formed and had groups etc. So I started working (totally not in my planning, but I had to do something until I knew what I wanted). So this year I started my course hotelmanagement, I like it very much and I made a group of friends as well, but somewhere, I just know school is not for me. But I don't want to quit now, it is only for 3 years. I focus quite a bit on that 'degree' thing instead. I still hope it gets better! Also for you. It is not a shame to drop out and look out for other things.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I went to uni I knew within two months that the particular place I was in (Ottawa, Canada) wasn't for me. I was pressured into at least finishing the school year out and it made me really struggle with my mental health. Whatever you decide just make sure its going to make you the healthiest and the happiest inside and out, even if you have to take a little break. You're education is always going to be an option you can go back to school at 20 or 50, if you ever change your mind and decide to go back, your happiness should come first :)
ReplyDelete