From someone who has suffered with anxiety for the last 10 years, I'm well used to people misunderstanding what is going on inside my head. It can get incredibly frustrating when the people closest to you simply think you're just a bit nervous or stressed. The truth is, anxiety is NOT stress and although the symptoms of stress and anxiety can be similar, there's one hell of a big difference.
I know that a lot of people who struggle with anxiety feel incredibly alone and isolated, which can only add to a persons level of anxiety. It's important that an anxiety sufferer has a strong support team around them who completely understands their mental health disorder and can help them through it.
Despite the increase in campaigning and raising of awareness, I still think that anxiety (and other mental health disorders) are misunderstood and more people need to be educated on how to support those around them. You need to be attentive and patient, but most of all, you mustn't say any of the below statements.
"Calm down"
This is probably the worst thing you could say to an anxiety sufferer. Do you not think that they would 'calm down' or relax if they could? Anxiety is not a choice. Sometimes it's virtually impossible to be calm once the anxiety begins to creep in.
"Everything will be alright"
Will it? Will it really? How can you be so sure? Anxiety is entirely irrational so an anxiety sufferer may not even believe you. A person with anxiety may not be comforted in the same way as someone without anxiety. Instead, say something like 'I'm here for you if you need me'.
"It's all in your head"
This is incredibly patronising and I can't remember the amount of times I've asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' over and over. If a person could control their anxiety, then they would, wouldn't they? Anxiety is a real thing...it's a real mental health disorder so don't tell someone that the awful thoughts and feelings that they're having aren't even real.
"There are people who are worse off than you"
This may very well be true, but you should never, ever compare one person's suffering to another person's suffering. Believe me, when you have anxiety you feel like you're the only person in the world who feels as crap as you do. Even though anxiety - or any other mental health disorder for that matter - appears invisible from the outside, it can ruin just as many lives as a 'physical' illness can.
I usually tend to keep my experience of/beliefs about anxiety to myself as I'm not the best at speaking about it so I hope that this post was easy enough to understand.
Let me know what you think!
I think I've heard just about all of these over the years - especially 'its all in your head', like as if I didn't know?! This is a really great post and something I can relate to a lot.
ReplyDeleteLucy | Forever September
It's so frustrating, isn't it?! Thank you so much for commenting, Lucy x
DeleteSuch a relatable post! I've also heard all of these said before and it honestly is so hurtful! I don't think people realise how words can affect people sometimes. Great ideas on alternative words to say xx
ReplyDeleteLauren | itslaurenvictoria.blogspot.co.uk
Yeah, and unfortunately I'm sure that there are more! Thank you, Lauren xx
DeleteI totally agree with all of these things! Sometimes the person thinks they are just doing the best they can to help out but they don't know it can make you worse! Xx
ReplyDeleteThrifty vintage fashion
Thanks, Nicole! Totally loving your blog posts atm :) Yeah, that's so true xx
DeleteI have a friend who suffering from this too, and it's really heartbreaking to see her suffering. I am not sure if I have helped, but she knows that she can talk to me when she needs me--granted that I do talk to her regularly.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that hopefully would help--is that telling them how much you believe in them--and everything they can do.
And yes, I agree with you that patience is really, really key.
xx Layla || straightontillfriday.inspirelight.net